People have always turned away from discussing mental health issues, which creates a culture where many feel isolated and ashamed of their struggles.
The Scandinavians have a different approach to this, a culture we should adopt in our communities for better qualities of life and health.
Mental health was never talked about in my family while growing up. If we showed a little sign of unhappiness, we would be reminded that there are homeless children who didn't have what we had, and we should be grateful for the opportunity.
The focus was more on physical health, getting enough sleep, and avoiding illness.
Mental health talks with my children
My daughter came home from school one evening while feeling upset about a friend. She had a serious look on her face. She was clearly not in the mood to talk.
She didn’t know how to express her feelings so I just had to push her into talking.
“What’s going on?” I asked softly while pushing her to share.
“It’s nothing,” she said, while trying to wave it off.
“It’s okay to feel sad sometimes. Everyone does. I feel sad so many times too.”
I made her understand that her feelings were normal and that it was okay to express herself. She was not going to be judged for expressing herself.
I shared a bit about my struggles with anxiety. She was surprised to hear that I sometimes felt overwhelmed and unsure of myself.
“Really? You get scared too?” She asked out of surprise.
She must have thought I was invincible. At that moment, she saw that even I have moments of vulnerability, just like everyone else.
This opened the door to her heart, and soon we were chatting comfortably about emotions, worries, and the importance of expressing our feelings.
I took a few more steps in teaching my children about mental health. I also encouraged them to express their feelings openly.
Lessons from the Scandinavians
A friend of mine who lived in Sweden shared the Scandinavian approach to mental health. Friends mostly called just to check on each other’s mental well-being. And it was nothing to be ashamed of, as it was something they had become accustomed to doing.
She said they sometimes had round-table discussions where they talked about their worries and struggles. Everyone was open during these discussions, and no one was afraid to share their struggles or seek support.
It feels nice knowing that something like this exists, and I wish this kind of culture existed everywhere else.
Unfortunately, there is a stigma around these things. Everyone chooses to put on a brave face while acting like everything is fine. We’ve gotten used to the culture of silence. Its long-term effect is damaging.
Scandinavians don’t hide their mental health challenges. They also don’t wait till things go wrong before taking action. They check up on people even when things are fine. That’s why they have one of the best mental health in the world.
That’s the concept of “Folkhemmet (people’s home),” a Swedish word that captures the idea that society should provide a place of safety for the people.
Mental health is a team effort
I had made it clear to my children that they could come to me whenever they felt down or had something bothering them.
I thought my approach was good enough and that I had nothing to worry about since my children and I have always engaged in open conversations before now. I secretly gave myself the Best Parent of the Year award in terms of mental health awareness.
Having a conversation with my Scandivanian friend showed me how wrong I was in my approach. By Scandinavian standards, I was failing as a parent.
It was my duty as a parent to always check on my children’s mental health even when they showed no signs of distress. Waiting for them to come to me is me literally asking them to be their own parent.
Mental health awareness is to be taken very seriously. The Scandinavians do this by encouraging their children to open up about their mental health from a young age.
They do this by integrating mental health discussions into their curriculum, promoting awareness among children.
This helps children recognize and learn how to express their feelings openly without feeling shy. The stigma associated with mental health issues is gradually reduced this way.
It is my duty as a parent to create a safe space that allows my children to express themselves. They need to know that it’s perfectly normal to express themselves and seek help where necessary. Whether from me, a friend, or a professional.
Since I learned that my parenting approach was wrong, I began to check in on my children regularly, even when everything seemed fine. My aim is to make them feel supported and understood whether they are fine or not.
I began setting aside time every week for open conversations. I don't ask specific questions so the conversation does not feel forced. We simply flow with the moment while we all talk about whatever is on our minds at that point. This was how I learned that my son was being bullied at school.
One thing I’ve learned in a few months of doing this is that children can be very good at staying quiet even when things are wrong. They know that they can always come to you, but will choose to keep it to themselves half the time. I’m still trying to understand the reason for this.
A healthier future
Scandinavian nations report lower rates of anxiety and depression compared to the U.S. Some statistics show this very clearly.
They are also generally happier. Their happiness is not linked to their socioeconomic status but is mostly due to factors like having strong social support, welfare state generosity, and a high degree of freedom over personal life choices, among many others.
The World Happiness Report has repeatedly ranked Scandinavian nations at the top of the happiness chart due to the factors mentioned above, proving that we have a lot about mental health from the Scandinavians.
It would be nice if we followed the Scandinavian’s approach to Mental health matters. It will create a culture of love, and ensure a healthier future for us and our children.
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